It seems counterintuitive that a city as massive as Toronto could ever feel lonely, but it definitely can — especially around the holidays when it seem like everyone else’s social calendar fills to the brim with friendly gatherings and family functions.
Social media can often compound these feelings with 24/7 timelines of winter vacations, kids opening presents and happy couples in their Pinterest-worthy pajamas.
If you find yourself far from loved ones, dealing with a break-up or simply struggling with loneliness during these winter months, take comfort in knowing you’re not alone. In fact, the phenomenon of seasonal sadness has become so prevalent that it’s spawned a new term: the holiday blues.
Understanding that feelings of isolation are common during these end-of-year months, here are some strategies that may help you cope:
1. Get Busy: The holidays arrive at the same time each year so you have plenty of time
to formulate a game-plan that will make you feel more plugged-in and less on your
own. For example:
2. Focus on the Positive: Rather than dwell on what’s missing right now, try and focus
on the many positives in your life and the world around you. You can jot entries in a
diary or simply say them out loud; either way, you will gradually notice how much
there is to be thankful for.
3. Embrace Solitude: Sure, the holidays may scream ‘togetherness’ but on the flip-side,
everything non-holiday generally slows down and provides an opportunity for some
rare ‘me time.’ Maybe you’ve shelved an old hobby or have neglected treating
yourself to a day at the spa. Guess what? Now’s the ideal time to buck the crowds
and focus on you!
4. Be Kind to Yourself: Even with the above strategies, being alone on the holidays can
be tough. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings as valid and normal and
recognize that this too shall pass.
The holidays are a unique and often challenging time to be on your own. If you’re feeling isolated or disconnected during this time of year, consider the above suggestions and reach out to a therapy professional if you need additional strategies or support.
Wishing you a peaceful and fulfilling holiday season.
Lindsay Ross, MSW RSW, is a clinical social worker in private practice in Toronto, Ontario.