Broaching Couples Therapy with Your Partner

If you’ve reached a place in your relationship that has you contemplating couples therapy, one of the biggest hurdles can be figuring out how to broach this sensitive matter with your spouse.

It can feel risky and uncomfortable — particularly if the subject hasn’t come up before — but there are neutral and non-aggressive ways to bring up counselling that can help your partner understand where you’re coming from and why therapy might be a worthwhile idea.
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• Be Truthful: It’s perfectly common for one-half of the couple to initiate counselling, the key is being honest about the issue (or issues) that have led to this point so you can avoid blindsiding your partner during the actual sessions. Permit yourself to be vulnerable and calmly explain your thought process behind this weighty decision by using examples, if necessary, to support your case: “I feel like we’re fighting more than ever and I’m concerned about this constant tension affecting our kids.”

 

• Outline the Benefits: People can be skeptical about the benefits of counselling and may need some convincing that it’s worth their while. From improving communication skills to reigniting intimacy, make sure to explain the advantages and remind them that therapists are trained to foster a solutions-oriented environment for working through sensitive issues.

 

• Share Your Goal(s): What do you hope to accomplish at the end of your therapy journey? Maybe you’d like to have more open communication around parenting or you’d like your partner to acknowledge a past mistake — whatever the objective, acknowledge it and be sure to listen thoughtfully when your partner explains their therapy goals to you.
  

 

• Reassure Them: One of the most common misconceptions around couples therapy is that it’s a last resort before breaking-up. Comfort your partner by outlining the constructive nature of counselling and how addressing problems now can prevent major blowups down the line. Therapy should be viewed as an investment in the future not a criminal trial in search of a verdict.

The idea of broaching couples therapy with your partner can seem daunting, but if approached with care, it can be the first step in a productive and life-changing journey.