Strategies for Coping with Loss Around the Holidays

​With its emphasis on family and tradition, the holiday season can be particularly challenging for those who are grieving and the pressure to be merry can only make things worse as festivities and social gatherings flood the calendar from November through New Years.

As a therapist, the one rule I’ve learned about grief is that it doesn’t conform to any rules. It’s confusing, random and untidy. It can be understated and subtle or jarring and brash. It doesn’t come with an instruction manual or an ‘off’ switch. There is no right way or time or place to mourn a loss.

Understanding its complexities, the challenge with grief is finding effective ways to cope with it — particularly during this time of year when the calendar makes life tougher than normal.
Below are some strategies you may find helpful if you are struggling to navigate the holidays without a loved one:

1. Lean into Grief: Acknowledging your sorrow is fundamental to any bereavement coping strategy. Hold yourself with compassion and accept your feelings as valid and normal. Don’t shy away from your feelings; embrace them.
2. Know Your Limits: The holidays are demanding on your time and energy under the best of circumstances. Setting healthy boundaries around your schedule and knowing who to surround yourself with (and who to avoid) will give you an empowering sense of control.
3. Express Yourself: This can apply to anything from writing in a journal to confiding in a friend to speaking with a professional. Give yourself an outlet to ask for help and share how you’re feeling about the holidays. You never have to face your difficulties alone.
4. Honour Your Loved Ones: Loss can create a void during the holidays, especially when it comes to fulfilling annual traditions. Consider honouring your loved ones by including them in a new ritual or finding space for them in an established one, for example: dedicating an ornament in their memory, cooking their favourite dish, lighting a candle in the family living space and/or acknowledging them out loud during prayer or conversation.
   
   

This time of year can be especially challenging for anyone coping with loss. If you’re undergoing a difficult holiday season, consider the above strategies to help ease your struggle and reach out to a professional if you need additional support.

Wishing you peace and comfort this holiday season.