Supporting Your Partner Through Postpartum Depression
So, you had a baby?
Congratulations!
Welcoming home a little one is a joyous occasion. As new parents, your days (and let’s be honest, nights too) will be filled with sweet coos, wiggles, snuggles, and of course lots of diaper changes.
But that isn’t the only change happening…
Our routines, sleep patterns, eating habits, lifestyles, relationships, and even brain chemistry change after a baby arrives. Therefore, it’s only natural that your partner will have different wants and needs during this time. This is especially true if they are experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression.
According to research, approximately 1 in 7 women go through postpartum depression (PPD) after giving birth, with the number of undiagnosed cases being much higher. Understanding the signs and causes of PPD can make a significant difference. Fortunately, 80% of people with postpartum depression achieve a full recovery, given the right mental health and emotional support.
That’s where YOU come in!
How Postpartum Depression Impacts a Relationship
From the moment your new baby is born, your partner is most likely experiencing a whirlwind of emotions.
For example, they are likely to feel:
Vulnerability
Anger
Grief
Gratitude
Fear
Awe
Self-doubt
Fatigue
It's important to note that every individual may experience these emotions to varying degrees and it's perfectly normal to have a wide range of feelings as a new parent. After all, you are probably experiencing your own array of emotions as you adjust to the family’s “new normal” as well.
Take a deep breath.
Right now, your partner needs empathy, understanding, and support.
If they are experiencing postpartum depression, be on the lookout for the following 6 behavioural changes:
Persistent Sadness or Low Mood: First, your partner may seemingly always feel sad, “blue,” or go through frequent crying spells without an apparent reason.
Sleep Disturbances: PPD can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to insomnia (both difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep) or trouble getting out of bed in the morning.
Loss of Interest and Withdrawal from Loved Ones: Third, someone with postpartum depression could lose interest in activities they once used to enjoy, including fun activities, hobbies, socializing with friends and family, and instead isolating themselves.
Irritability or Anger: Women with postpartum depression can exhibit increased restlessness and agitation over “minor” issues that due to the circumstances feel “major.”
Low Self-Worth: Similarly, your partner may express strong feelings of self-blame, inadequacy, or guilt, even if there is zero rational basis.
Thoughts of Self-harm or Suicide: In severe cases, individuals with PPD may self-harm or have suicide ideation. If you notice any signs of this nature or they are in danger, it's crucial to seek professional help and/or call 911 immediately.
Of course, symptoms vary from person to person.
At Midtown Toronto Therapy, we offer professional advice for an accurate diagnosis and postpartum counselling.
Let’s Talk: The Power of Communication
Open communication is crucial when one partner is experiencing postpartum depression. Honest communication provides a supportive and understanding environment, fostering empathy and connection. By sharing our feelings, fears, and challenges openly, a sense of relief and validation washes over us like a tidal wave. And by listening, we can let our partners know they are not fighting battles alone.
Remember, a burden is lighter when carried together.
Effective Ways to Support Your Partner
Still, looking for more ideas to support your partner?
In the next paragraphs, Midtown Toronto Therapy explores how connecting emotionally, sharing responsibilities and roles, seeking external support, and self-care are the pillars of postpartum depression recovery.
Connect Emotionally
Set aside dedicated time to spend together without baby distractions. Engage in activities you both enjoy, such as:
Watching a favourite tv show
Going for a walk
Eating together
Having meaningful conversations
Maintain and Adapt Physical Closeness
Physical touch releases oxytocin, a bonding hormone that fosters connection. Prioritize small (non-sexy) physical acts of love, like:
Cuddling
Kissing
Massages
Holding hands
Share Responsibilities and Roles
Another fantastic way to support someone through postpartum depression is by sharing parenting responsibilities. Start by identifying tasks.
Who is feeding the baby?
Changing diapers?
Soothing cries?
Bathing?
Getting up in the night on weekdays vs. Saturday and Sunday?
Doing the grocery shopping?
Alternating responsibilities will help both partners have equal opportunities to engage with the baby (and take self-care breaks). For example, one partner can handle midnight feedings while the other gets a full night's sleep, and then switch roles on subsequent nights. New parents often find creating a schedule beneficial. Just don’t forget to block in time for one another, too.
Seek External Support
We can all use a helping hand now and again.
Understanding and addressing postpartum depression is no different
If your partner is overwhelmed by sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness after having a baby, it may be a crucial moment to consider seeking postpartum depression therapy. A therapist will provide a safe and non-judgmental space to explore coping strategies.
A good therapist will:
Have specialized training in PPD mental health
Respect individual perspectives, feelings, and goals
Offers flexible appointment scheduling
Utilizes evidence-based techniques
Respect and value cultural diversity
Midtown Toronto Therapy understands it can be scary to reach out…
Reassure your partner this is a VERY courageous step towards her wellbeing and that of the whole family!
What About Friends and Family?
Recall the old saying, “It takes a village to raise a child?”
Support from friends and family can be a lifeline when it comes to postpartum depression. Household chores, caring for the baby, preparing meals, easing the burden of daily responsibilities, or just being a smiling face and listening ear go a long way. Just be wary of boundaries. Clearly communicate expectations and limitations around the baby to avoid misunderstandings.
For instance, partners should agree upon:
Acceptable visiting hours
Who is a trusted individual (and who isn’t)
Off-limits tasks
Final Thoughts
Supporting a partner with postpartum depression is of utmost importance. It demonstrates deep love, compassion, and commitment in your parenthood journey. Recognizing the signs of PPD and seeking timely intervention can make a difference. Standing bravely by their side, you can contribute to your partner’s recovery, fostering a beautiful future for yourself and your growing family.
To learn more about Midtown Toronto Therapy services and how we address postpartum depression, contact us.
We would be delighted to hear from you!
